Remember: You Did Not Lose Anyone. They Lost You.

You did not lose anyone. They lost you. Learn how to change your perspective and realize that what you lost after your relationship ended was someone who did not know what they had.

Without a doubt, at some point in your life you have lost someone who meant a lot to you : a boyfriend, a friend, a family member…

and full of questions.

The hardest part about ending a relationship, whatever it may be, is that it is never easy to look at it positively in a way that helps us with our further personal growth.

After looking up , it is common for our self-esteem to start going downhill.

Many blame themselves for ending the relationship and thus begin a self-destructive spiral of thoughts and guilt. They think things like, “I could have done something different,” “I do not deserve to be loved,” “I was not good enough for that person. .. ”

Let’s make it clear: overcoming the pain of an emotional loss involves controlling the kinds of thoughts that run through our head.

There is no worse enemy than yourself. At emotional loss as a terminated relationship, we sometimes even act as our own tormentor.

It will not work. Here are some simple, effective strategies for managing your emotions.

What you lost, what you left behind, and what lifted you to move forward

People are more fragile than we think.

In our daily lives we manage to create an image, as if everything is connected. This helps us to believe that we can do anything and that nothing can harm us.

At certain times of our lives, we actually believe this because we enjoy strong bonds with the people we love.

Close friendships, good family relationships and a good romantic relationship give us wings, strength and optimism.

Suddenly we are so overwhelmed by negative emotions that we shut down without knowing what to do, what to think or how to react.

Our existential foundation seems to have crumbled under our feet and we can not stop thinking about the loss, the breakup or the person who has left us… and we do not know why.

Do not ask for love.

First of all, we must understand that all negative emotions, whether it is rage, despair, sadness or fear have a purpose in our brain. They make us see reality for what it is to respond to “danger”:

• Negative emotions are instinctive and put us on the lookout for something: A reaction must happen.
• If it is clear that they do not love us anymore, there is nothing more destructive than continuing to beg for another chance.
• A terminated relationship hurts. It is necessary to feel the sadness, cry it away and spend some time with our own thoughts.
• Later we will reach an acceptance of what happened and begin to move forward.

Focusing on the past and what-now-ifs does nothing but make your despair chronic.

They lost you, not the other way around.

You did not lose anyone, they lost you. Focusing on things in this way is not a sign of being self-centered, but of emotional strength. Remember:

• If a person does not fit into your hopes and dreams, if they did not understand your value, if they did not match your love, your affection, your kindness. Then  it is those who have suffered a loss, not you.
• You can not blame yourself for this loss.
• Do not put shame on or demean yourself; Don’t think you have to change to fit into their plans.
• Never lose your identity or what makes you great. If anyone does not like it, it is their problem; If they do not understand it, there is no reason to torture yourself.

Feed your self-love,

Do not lose yourself because you lost someone.

It’s not worth losing yourself. It is not healthy to stop loving yourself because someone has chosen to distance themselves when you were hoping for closeness.

• If you choose to stop taking care of yourself, or if you choose to distance yourself from your own heart, you will become a sad prisoner.
• You become a prisoner of the person who told you no, and of the one who closed the door for you and planted seeds of sorrow in your mind.

• Close this chapter and end the suffering cycle.
• Go ahead and start getting to know yourself again.
• Do not look for a replacement love to make yourself feel more comfortable and make you forget.

The best thing to do in these cases is to spend some time on healing and remembering once again what makes you happy. Remember what you dream about and what matters to you.

What you lost no longer exists. It’s past. What meets you are new joys and new hopes.

If you want it, it’s within reach.